Gen X Ruminations: The Most 80s Song Ever
I’ve touched on cable TV, movies and music as I’ve described coming of age in the 80s, but as I conclude this incredible decade, and transition into the final decade before the Apocalypse of the 2000s, it’s time to declare “The Song of the 80s”.
Now, this is a tough one. A million good choices come to mind as so many bands and performers made their mark on pop culture. Do you go with the numbers and pick the best-sellers or most expensive videos? Do you go with the groundbreakers who impacted not only music but fashion, sexuality and the way we saw the world? Do you go with the trendsetters who would influence music to come? Or, do you go with the giants who would launch, or revitalize, careers in the 1980s and would go on to become legends? So much to consider.
As a straight male, I have to give props to a woman who belongs in many of these categories (if not all of them): Madonna. The Like a Virgin video was so much sexier than any of the Showtime soft-porn available at the time. A woman so defiantly confident in her sexuality wrapped in white lace with that bustier! Holy shit! Now, as a dude who liked to rock, I naturally couldn’t allow myself to actually enjoy the song, but that video will be burned into my brain long after I’ve forgotten my own name. Madonna perfectly demonstrated the difference between classic beauty and “my god, I would kill to be with her”. And…she was smart. She knew exactly what she was doing to adolescent boys across the country…and more than a few of our fathers. So, all respect to Madonna, but I’m looking for a song that is forever locked in the decade and there’s nothing fixed about Madonna. She continues to innovate, and entice, to this day.
How about Michael Jackson? He was another Boomer who was well-established by the time the 80s rolled around, but was among a few who understood that video changed everything. (On the list with The Rolling Stones, ZZ Top, Rod Stewart and Robert Palmer, to name a few.) When Thriller was released in 1982, he pulled out the big guns in ways that no performer had (or could) previously. He had John Landis, a major studio talent, direct the title video and released it in long-form. It’s also worth noting that he played a monumental role in bringing African American performers to the forefront of MTV. It’s debated, but some sources suggest that the Thriller album has sold as many as 100 million copies worldwide and the videos that resulted from it would set the bar for visual production. Music videos came out of the garage and everyone was put on notice that your poorly lit live cut from the local alt-bar was no longer going to cut it. So, yeah, Michael’s work from the 80’s is iconic. (I’ll avoid any discussion of revelations that would follow….) But, Thriller’s not the one.
Should we go with the Beastie Boys? I certainly wouldn’t argue that Licensed to Ill, and Fight for Your Right specifically, would become an anthem for the white, suburban teen/college age male. It (sort of) demonstrated that white guys could (sort of) rap and rock at the same time. But, interestingly, it had competition. It was released around the same time that Run DMC, who were undeniable mic masters, teamed up with Aerosmith and proved that, in fact, white guys had been rapping since 1975. We just didn’t really know it. Between the two, an irresistible fusion of rock and rap was born and entire new doors began to open for the genre. What could possibly be next? Rap and Country? Sadly, yes, but I can’t type Kid Rock or Big & Rich without vomiting a bit in my mouth. The Beasties were groundbreakers to be sure, as was their extraordinary producer Rick Rubin, but nope. I respect the fight, but they aren’t my pick.
So, should I move on to Prince? Of course. Purple Rain, the album and the movie, dropped in 1984 and the impact would reverberate for over thirty years. It was immediately understood that Prince was in a class by himself, possessing the musical chops of Hendrix and the multi-faceted performance talents of Michael Jackson. Like Madonna, his presence sent shockwaves through fashion, music and dance and he would not be conveniently pigeon-holed. Prince was gonna do what Prince was gonna do and the only thing you could count on is that it would most likely be incredible. He burst onto the global scene as a phenom, but he was much bigger than any one decade. So, with a sincere bow to his purple majesty, I had to look elsewhere.
So, what could possibly be “The Song of the 80s”? Like the 1980s, it’s probably not what you expected. It comes from the soundtrack of Valley Girl (which could be argued was the soundtrack of the 80s) but, no, it’s not I Melt with You. (My apologies to Modern English — it is a great song.) No, I’m going with a one-hit wonder titled The Fanatic by the “band” Felony. (At the conclusion of this, I encourage all of you to check the video on YouTube.) Why would I pick this song? Well, it emerged as a New Wave was breaking across America and it wonderfully references things that most Millennials would scratch their heads about: TV Guide? Magazines? Tape machines? It’s beautifully anchored in the decade. It offers the classic keyboard solo and matches Vincent Price in concluding the song with maniacal laughter. It is the 1980s, but it also revealed something that would only gain strength over time: Our utter infatuation with notoriety. In the decades that followed, with social media influencers and entire TV shows dedicated to people famous for no other reason than being born rich, we all became fanatics. But, in the 80s? Like so many things we’ve become desensitized to now, it was sexy and new. Can I have your autograph?
